A Further Reflection on the Baptist Union Statement on Same Sex Marriage

Whatever we make of the Baptist Union's Council statement on same sex relationships last month it will not be the last word. Those Baptists who feel they are unable to affirm any kind of same sex relationship and who see this as a victory for a perceived 'majority', will find that the statement will not be the last word. In fact it may well be that the statement will galvanise those who seek to affirm same sex marriage to be more open in their conviction, and will also lead others, not affirming themselves, to more vocal as well, in arguing that an affirming position be acceptable within the Union. That is, rather than drawing a line in the sand, the statement has ignited a bigger conversation.

Those who affirm same sex marriage amongst BUGB Baptists are more numerous than the conservatives realise; not a majority within the Union, but then I challenge the view that the conservatives hold the majority either. (I'm not convinced that speaking in terms of 'majority' is helpful, because it smacks of democracy rather than communal discernment). I suggest that many sit in the middle between the two extremes, and find themselves pulled by both Bible and culture, but are driven most, by wanting to find pastoral solutions. If I'm right then the view of the Baptist Union, if the Union is to hold together, must be one of reconciled diversity on this issue. The question that must drive the Steering Group and the Council and all those who care about the future of the Union, must be, (as Angus Ritchie's suggests with regard to the Church of England): 

can we find a way of living together in one Body that preserves the integrity of opponents as well as supporters of change?

This is what we have done on the issue of women in ministry, we generally tolerate a diversity. We do not (openly) seek to unChristian those who hold a different view from our own - and this is not always easy.

We need to find ways not to unChristian one another of the issue of gay and lesbian relationships. To quote Ritchie again:

This requires traditionalists to accept they are not the only orthodox Christians, and those of an affirming view to accept that traditionalism is not always based on homophobia.

What is needed are those on both sides to say, in view of the tie that binds us, can we for the sake of unity and mission, seek to listen to one another, hard and painful though that may be, to see if that tie is strong enough to enable us to continue to walk together. My hope is that the Steering Group might, behind the scenes, seek to make that happen. 

The Council's statement attempted to 'humbly urge' those who affirm same sex marriage not to press ahead, in all reality, this will carry little weight. The seeming imbalance of the 'mutual respect' asked of those churches who have registered or are seeking to register, challenges any moral authority they might otherwise see the statement as having. 

It is my own view that neither those who are against or those who affirm hold the monopoly on truth on this question. In fact much of the arguments for or against I find wanting. As on many other issues, it remains contested, and it remains contested, also amongst those who identify as gay or lesbian. 

This will continue to not be an easy time for the Union, especially those who hold office at a national level. For them we must pray especially. Whilst I don't think they can or will (at least not quickly) retract the statement, I hope that the Steering Group and the Council (when it next meets), will recognise they will have to come back to this issue, that we have not reached a settled place. A more theological conversation is now all the more pressing and the willingness of all sides to participate is essential if we are to avoid the fragmentation of our Union. This is the story of all other church traditions, Baptists are no different. 

Comments

[Andrew Kleissner]

I was interested to read your comment that "those who affirm same sex marriage amongst BUGB Baptists are more numerous than the conservatives realise" as I think a lot of assumptions are often made. The church I presently serve is both Baptist and URC; and you may be amused to know that, some years ago, I wrote almost identical letters on this matter to both the "Baptist Times" (still then in printed form) and the other to "Reform". However the one I wrote to the "BT" said, "Don't assume that everyone in our denomination is against same-sex relationships" while the one to "Reform" stated the exact opposite, as these had been the impressions being given by the two publications. I'm pleased to say that both letters were published!

[Mrs Mills]

As a parent of an adult child who lives with a same sex partner; a Christian of many years and a Baptist Deacon, I have an enormous struggle with the whole issue of same sex marriage. My previously held views have been thoroughly shaken and I'm currently in a state of feeling bewildered about what I should believe. I have felt completely unable to be open with many of my Christian friends for fear of being judged and have therefore struggled to share this very heavy burden.However, I have been blessed by wise counsel from a few trusted friends including my Minister. At the present time I would just like to urge us all to lovingly consider how we can best reach out to those in same sex relationships with the love of Christ.

[Peter Dominey]

Thank you Andy - it's important that the conversation that has been 'ignited' is not smothered by those who would like to impose a view on all.

[Derrick Hill]

As one who warmly welcomed the BUGB Council statement as pointing the direction on this issue, but not the final word, I was sad to see this attempt to challenge the principle.

But I must thank Mrs. Mills for her comment and plea to "lovingly consider how we can best reach out to those in same sex relationships with the love of Christ". Surely, now that Council have given a right and proper steer, that is the next challenge - but I don't believe that seeking God's blessing on same sex marriage is the answer.

[Sharon Jones]

I was moved by what sister Mills shared. I can only imagine how challenging it must be for her.

I was very grateful to read the recent statement put out by the Baptist Council and found it balanced and fair and a lovingly crafted response.

Let me declare my hand from the start. I am ABSOLUTELY against same sex relationships of all kinds and also do not believe it is God's will for us to change our physical beings from male to female or vice versa.

And while I am always keen to listen to how my fellow brothers and sisters feel and to understand how they arrive at their views, my personal view on this issue through how I interpret Scripture and what I have discerned will remain unchanged.

I have very good friends that are gay and some that are Christians and they know exactly how I feel. It doesn't stop me from loving them nor preventing us from having a lasting friendship.

However, in recent years, in secular society, increasingly those of us who hold firm views in this regard have been made to feel bigoted, out of touch with reality and as if we are going around as a lynching mob.

My plea today is that my brothers and sisters within the Christian family, and specifically within our Baptist Communion, would not make us feel that way too!

May Christ help us now in our great hour of need in Jesus' name I pray.

[Andrew Kleissner]

Interesting comment from the Baptist Steering Group's meeting: "Of those 96 responses, 22 welcomed the statement, two wished it to go further and 72 are disturbed / disappointed by the statement. Some clear themes emerged around the Declaration of Principle and the independence / interdependence of churches, about mutuality, about the perceived threat of discipline for ministers and/or church sanction, about pastoral concerns and about mission, (particularly in pioneering contexts)". (See BUGB website for more details).