This is a new BBC2 documentary where 12 teenagers pledge not to have sex of any kind for five months by two Christian youthworkers. This was a well-made and interesting program, looking at the issue of sex among teenagers, well until the trip to America! I thought the two youthworkers went around the issues well, were upfront about their faith, but not over-prescriptive (typical British style youthwork) - the teenagers involved were definitely thinking about the questions in a new light.
The contrast with the youthwork scene in America was revealing. Indoctrination and bible-bashing appeared to prevalent - American Christian teenagers kept referring to the Bible, but you wonder if they could point to any texts. There was also a false belief that sex on their wedding night was going to be this wonderful thing - when most of the British teenagers revealed that the first time is often not a wonderful time! Putting the British teenagers into this environment seemed to be damaging some of the good work that had been going on back in the UK. Three of the girls were very obviously uncomfortable with the charismatic youth service they were invited to attend. This made clear how strange church services must be to young people outside of the church. One girl said, church in the UK is just about saying prayers, not singing! The American 'youth pastor' was unable to dialogue or listen to the young people, in complete contrast to the British youth workers, who kept stressing that the teenagers were free to choose and believe what they like.
Another point that emerged was the whole 'no sex before/outside of marriage' message has no (moral) weight with a generation that disbelieves in the idea of marriage. Where getting married seems pointless, apart from having the dream wedding day and relationships are finite, the message goes unheard. It made clear again to me, that the debate is not about sex, but about marriage. There is a need for the church to re-establish the place and point of marriage in our culture - give it meaning. What does a marriage provide that living together does not? Why is sex best within a marriage?
I think its sad that the only option we have is to speak about having safe sex, that avoiding sex until marriage or at least later in life, is not a message we communicate in schools and youth clubs. The safe sex message seems to be resigned to the fact that young people will be having sex probably at some point between 12-18 yrs old. I would like to more work done on talking about relationships, on why its better to wait - I'm not advocating a 'true love waits' message - just that sex is complicated and actually requires a maturity. I would like to see a better discussion of the validity of marriage.
Next week, they're still in America and go to a 'silver ring' event - you saw a clip of the youth pastor saying if would pay for their rings, if the teenagers signed-up! BBC2, Tuesday 9pm. I'll post more next week.
ah the legendary Republican-endorsed "Silver Ring Thing"... I'm pretty convinced from my preliminary reading a few months ago that it's just another consumerism-driven pseudo-christian fad... another True Love Waits card really.
What interests me most is the thought behind this. That an object is going to save you.
When push comes to shove, if you're in a situation where sex is imminant, a necklace/ring/card in your wallet is not going to stop you!
I'd far rather see them investing time and effort into appropriately discipling and educating our young people (in an honest way!) about what we believe and why. I fear that all these quirky things are just expensive fads and won't really stop anyone doing anything!
Posted by: ash | September 07, 2005 at 05:26 PM